The Honeymoon
by yuugiri
Summary: One shot! A clumsy Blitzball Player and a prickly black mage! How could Wakka and Lulu have gone through their honeymoon at all?


The honeymoon was going well... until it actually began.

I awkwardly closed the door of mine and Lulu's honeymoon hut. We were provided the best hut that was situated by the seaside, food was brought to our rooms and water was also delivered in bulk. Everything was going according to plan, yet I felt like I was waiting to be shot. The night was cool after our wedding, yet I could feel sweat poring down my back, making me uncomfortable.

I mean, I'm not used to this, ya know. As I made sure the door was locked, I let myself face the wall timidly, hoping that Lulu would not notice that I was stalling. But typical Lulu, she would always catch on.

"What are you staring at?" she asked, her voice making my blood run cold. "Is there something you want to share to me that I need to know, Wakka?"

"No-nothing, Lu," I stammered. Yevon, it was hot in here! I scratched my head uncertainly and turned to face my wife. She was out of her usual black leather outfit, and into an elaborately embroidered wedding gown. Actually, I didn't see much of a difference, except for the color, ya? The neckline was still _that_ low that she looked like she would be falling out of her dress, the bodice still _that_ tight that her breasts – my, were they big – jutted out from her slim figure, the sleeves still _that_ long and the skirt still _that _heavy set. The only thing that changed was it was white.

"Now what?" she snapped at me in a way that always made me jump. And typically, I did..

She was sitting on the bed, staring at me with those deep, frightening eyes. For the fifth time that hour did I ask myself why I asked her to marry me in the first place.

I swallowed. "Why are you snapping at me again, huh? I didn't do nothin'."

Lulu continued to stare. It was the look that made you feel like you did something even when you knew you didn't do nothin' at all.

When she didn't say anything for a while, I let myself daydream about all the places I'd rather be than in that hut.

Like on top of one of the lightning towers in the Thunder Plains...Yeah... 

_Or maybe in the deepest reaches of Zanarkand Ruins, playing with fiends... Sweet..._

_Or maybe in the Bikanel Desert with all that machina.. Ohhhh..._

_Or maybe – _

"Wakka!" Lulu snapped crisply.

I was immediately dragged back into that hut. "What?"

"Sit down next to me."

I felt all the blood rush to my face, then I began to breathe laboriously. I stiffly made my way to the bed, and dropped there like a rock. I knew this was our honeymoon, but I was starting to fear that I would never get to _that_ part that this whole arrangement was meant for. Doing that... that _thing_... _That thing_...

"What's bothering you?" Lulu asked me, her hand suddenly stroking my shoulder. I jumped idiotically. I was one big nerve. Lulu frowned a bit then let her hand rest on that same spot she had touched earlier. "You're very stiff. Would you like a massage?"

My head screamed out warnings at me! I didn't know what was wrong with me. She was my wife now... but still... Deep down inside, as I stole a look from her, I wanted to kiss her, like earlier in the ceremony. That was such a stiff kiss... I kinda wanted to do it again. Man, I had never kissed a girl before...

Lulu's face contorted a bit when I didn't reply. "I will give you a massage. Now lie on your stomach." It was a gesture of love, I knew, but she sounded like Beclam... so I couldn't help but obey, very wary and frightened to turn my back on her. It was like being exposed to danger. But I told myself that this was only Lulu.

_Yeah, just plain ol' Lu. Sure, she can put your hair on fire, or maybe freeze your underwear while you're still wearing it, or maybe strike you with lightning when you're not looking, perhaps...? But she's just Lu._

I discovered a second later that the reason why I was afraid was because she _was _Lulu. I was lying on my stomach already when I changed my mind and pushed myself up in a sitting position. This was a bad idea. As I straightened, Lulu was already bending over to give me that dreadful massage, and so the result was a collision. The back of my hard head smashed her across her perfect nose. She let out a strangled gasp and fell out of bed with a thud.

That was when I knew I had only thirty seconds to live. Yelping in panic, I knelt to the floor and gathered her by the shoulders, peering into her face. This was a death wish, I knew, but she looked hurt. "Lu! I- I'm sorry! I didn't mean to, I swear! Here, let me see."

She had her hand to her nose. I gently pried it off of her face and checked out the damage. He nose was not bleeding, but her eyes were closed as if in pain. "I'm all right. Get out of my face." That was what she said, so I immediately withdrew and sat about a foot from her on the floor.

Again, I scratched my head. "I'm sorry, Lu. I'm no good, ya?"

She sucked in a breath, held it in and silently counted to herself. She was not exploding yet. She was probably trying to gain momentum so that when she finally did explode, I'd be thrown all the way to Bevelle.

When she finished with her slow count, she released her breath then stood up, turning her back at him. "I want to get comfortable. Help me undress."

"_What!?" _I squeaked, my ears ringing. "You want me to... undress you?"

"What's the matter?" she asked coldly. "I can't reach the buttons behind my gown. Help me." When I didn't move, she glared at me menacingly. "_Now._"

I hurriedly got up and went to her back. It was only then did I realize that her neck was so smooth and slender. Her braided hair was in the way of the buttons, so I gingerly brushed it aside, my fingers touching her nape. I had never shivered before, but I did then.

My hands were shaking like crazy as I reached for the first button. As I tried to shove it through the buttonhole, my fingers felt thick and clammy that as I gave it a little pull, it was completely pulled out of the dress.

_Oh Yevon!_

I knew girls were really touchy about that kind of stuff, so I stuffed the button quickly inside my pant pocket. The second button was a little easier to remove, but since the dress was already half falling off of her shoulder, there was a considerable amount of skin that was out for me to see. She was so smooth, it didn't look natural... I couldn't help myself. I reached out and glided my hands to her shoulder. She didn't seem to mind. In fact, she seemed... pleased.

One more button did the job. Her dress fell to the ground around her - WHOA!!!! – incredibly long and shapely legs.

Man, my wife was hot!

She was wearing a strapless shift that clung to her curves. It left little to the imagination. As she turned to face me, I felt something wet on my upper lip.

She stared at me, amused. "Your nose is bleeding."

I raised my hand to my nose. It definitely was bleeding. She went to me, put her arms around me and gently pulled my head down for a kiss. It was different from the kiss we had in the ceremony. This was... sexy.

She practically did all the work. I had no idea what to do.

At first, she traced my lips with her tongue. The sensation I felt was _way _unexplainable! Her hands were on me, undoing my shirt. I was bare waist-up in a matter of seconds. I snaked my arms around her slowly. That was the problem with Lulu. You wouldn't know if what you're doing will make her snap. There were no complaints from her as I rubbed her back, then her neck. For someone he perceived as a hard person, she sure was soft. She pressed closer to me, and I could feel her twin mounds of feminine excellence push against my hard chest. I so wanted her...

I scooped her in my arms. She didn't stop what she was doing, now playing tongue hockey with me. I loved it. Man, my hormones were going crazy, ya? My fear for her actually was completely forgotten. After all, she started it.

We crashed on the bed, me on top of her. Yevon! She was so frail! I was afraid I was gonna crush her. I tried to get up, but she pulled me to her again, this time shooting me a deadly stare. "If you stop now, I will put your hair on fire, freeze your underwear while you're still wearing it, and strike you down with lightning."

I couldn't believe it. This was the first time I was grateful for the death threat. "Lu, ya sure you want to?"

She was wearing an expression I couldn't understand. She was grinning at me. _Grinning! _Rather seductively, might I add. "Wakka, you asked me to marry you, and I said yes. I wouldn't have said yes if I didn't want this as much as you do. And I know you want me." She ran her hand through my red hair gently, then grabbed at a chunk of it and yanked it painfully. "Now make love to me or you will regret it."

Normally, I would have shrunk at her warning, but this made me even bolder. I didn't know Lulu could be this aggressive in bed. I saw my sex life shoot to the moon from that day onwards. I laughed loudly. This was crazy. _She _wanted me as much as _I_ wanted _her_!

I twirled my arms around her narrow waist, turned in bed so that she would be on top of me. She spread her incredibly long legs around my torso and started to kiss me in places I never thought would make me aware of my desire for her. My eyes, my ears, my neck. I particularly liked that one... She ran her hands down my chest and went straight for my belt, unbuckling it and unzipping my pants.

Man, I was soooo horny! I explored her body with my palms. I took my time with her face, tracing her brow with my finger, then her cheeks, porcelain smooth. I explored her mouth with my tongue. She tasted sweet, like berries. It must be the lipstick. I had always wondered what that purple lipstick was. Whatever it is, it's really tasty.

_And I can taste it on her every time we kiss..._

My hands trailed down her bare arms, then to her chest, gently stroking the valley between those beautiful mounds. I pulled the shift that covered the rest of her body. I never knew I could appreciate anyone this way. Her body was art. I could not find any words to describe her. I didn't feel at all dirty to think about these thoughts of what I may do to this lovely creature. I found it to be a bond I couldn't wait to enter.

She succeeded in taking off my pants and everything on me, and there we were, naked as two newborn babes. She looked at me as I hugged her to me in a tight embrace. "Wakka? What are you thinking?"

"Huh?" I asked, a little surprised at her. She used to snap at me and tell me that I don't think at all and now she's asking me what I _think_? "Nothin', I guess. That I... I'm the damn luckiest guy in all of Spira, that my wife is the hottest babe in the history of all hot babes, and that... " I looked at her shyly. "And that I am madly in love with her."

The next thing that happened threw me off the loop. Lulu blushed.

It was the most beautiful thing, like seeing the sunset for the first time after a cold winter storm. See? Now I'm doin' poetry! I really am deeply, truly, madly in love!

She smiled her reserved smile. "I love you, too."

I kissed her again, a long deep kiss as I laid her down on the bed and went on top of her. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Lulu raise her hand and a chunk of ice fell on top of the only torch that served as out light source. We were plunged into darkness.

My - ahem! – little friend down there was getting angrier and angrier by the second!

I let my hands travel down her length, until I reached the part between her hip and legs. Getting bolder by the minute, I took the risk of angering her. I spread her legs wide and was about to take the plunge into nirvana when the door suddenly burst open and a very drunk Keepa, one of my Blitzball companions staggered in.

"What the f#!" I screamed as I hugged Lulu to me in an attempt to cover her naked body. I did not feel comfortable in sharing my wife's assets to anyone! She was for my eyes only! I groped at the blanket and wrapped it around us. So much for plunging into nirvana. My – ahem! – little friend down there seemed to have mellowed and took on to it's silent demise.

"Hey Wakka! Lulu! You guys should get out of this hut and join the celebration!" Keepa shouted. Grabbing the nearest thing I could get my hands into – luckily, it was a side table – I hauled it across the room and it hit Keepa in the gut. He was flung out of there in one blow.

"GET OUTTA HERE, MAN! THIS IS MY HONEYMOON!" I screamed. Leaving Lulu on the bed with the sheets, I crossed the room, not caring if Keepa would see my privates, and slammed the door so hard the whole hut shook. By the time I had calmed down, Lulu was looking at me from our supposed love nest like I was crazy.

"S-sorry 'bout that, Lu. I guess I messed up again, ya?" I scratched my head uncomfortably. My confidence shrank back to where it was before we started the session. It was sick!

Lulu stared at me more. She didn't say anything. Instead, I watched as she stood up on the bed, the sheets dropping down and there she was naked as she raised her hands in front of her.

"Lulu?" I said uncertainly. "What are you doing?"

"You forgot to lock the door, Wakka!" She howled as she performed a Demi spell on me. Instantly, the gravity spell lifted me up from the ground. "And to think that we were ALMOST THERE!!!"

"But Lu! I checked the door! I swear I - "

"Enough, Wakka!" She snapped as she levitated me closer and closer to her. What was worse was she was doing this to me with me not having any clothes at all. She swept her hand in a fast swish and I rammed on the wall and fell into bed facing the ceiling. The next ting I knew, she was on top of me, her legs on either side of me. "Now you will make love to me if I have to rape you!"

I gulped. _Yevon have mercy on me!_


End file.
